Should You Buy an Apple Watch?

Apple-Watch-2_apple-site

It’s been so long since we heard about the Apple Watch, we had started to forget about the brand-new product’s impending takeover as our wristwatch overlords. Yesterday Tim Cook, Apple‘s CEO, opened the doors to the giant tech company’s demo rooms and let the experts take a gander at the real-life, working Apple Watches. Since people seem to be more than willing to wait for days to purchase the latest iProducts—even if they already have a perfectly good computer, tablet or phone at home—I can’t even imagine how long these techies waited to get to get to play with the unreleased toy.

Thanks to these dedicated souls we now know more about the watch, but was this sneak peek enough to push normal people over the edge and open their wallets? It doesn’t seem likely…unless you are super rich or, you know, you just don’t care about your money.

Here we break down the basics of the new Apple Watch, and figure out if you should buy it.

It looks cool

The one thing that we can all decide about the Apple Watch without any technological prowess, or or software knowledge, is if it looks good. Several outlets have commented about how the watch is made with only the finest and most durable steel, and that its sleek design makes it a less embarrassing addition to one’s everyday wardrobe. Remember the disaster that was Google Glass “explorers”? Shudder. The Apple Watch definitely has got aesthetics on its side, but to get the super fly gold one, you’re going to be out a few grand at least.

Point to buying Apple Watch.

It does things quicker

The New York Times waxed poetic about the Apple Watch’s ability to lift people out of the anti-social hole because you aren’t looking at your phone anymore to complete simple tasks like writing an email, texting, monitoring your heart rate, or using Apple Pay. Yeah, I guess we won’t be glued to our handheld screens, but a smaller one on your wrist isn’t much better, is it? If anything, it seems like you will be half-distracted all the time, as opposed to fully distracted some of the time.

No points awarded.

apple-watches_2015_apple-screenshot

It’s got “Force Touch”

Gizmodo did a great job explaining what the hell “Force Touch” is, and why it is pretty much the worst.

“Force Touch uses tiny electrodes around the flexible Retina display to distinguish between a light tap and a deep press, and trigger instant access to a range of contextually specific controls,” reads an Apple description, which roughly translates as “When you press down hard on the screen, sometimes you can activate hidden controls.” Like changing up your watchface (see above). But sometimes when I tried to tap, it thought I was trying to Force Touch—and it wasn’t always clear which one I needed to do to perform any given action. Again, maybe I’d get the hang of it after a while.

Point to keeping money.

Its battery is replaceable

Now this kind of seems like a game changer. Tech Crunch reports that unlike the rest of your iProducts, the Apple Watch will actually allow you to replace the battery—which ideally can last you up to eighteen hours on a single charge—and hopefully end the days when you just have to go through the horrible feeling of waking up next to your iPod and it just won’t start. Ah, the circle of tech life.

No points awarded due to cool idea, but lame battery life.

It still needs an iPhone to work

A watch is an accessory for an outfit. Apparently, the Apple Watch is just an accessory for an iPhone. So you’ll need to keep that pesky Tim Cook–approved smartphone around while you pretend you don’t have it around.

Point to keeping money.

It’s the first generation

While outlets like Vox are championing the Apple Watch as a turning point in the world of technology, which it probably is, it’s hard not to think about the Apple Watch 2, 3, or 4S. Like the iPhone, the Apple Watch is exciting, but it isn’t a perfect product yet. Are we even sure that the iPhone has been perfected yet? Yes, this spring you can pick up one of the first Apple Watches, but this holiday season (probably) you’ll be able to pick up Apple Watch 2, Apple Watch’s cooler and cuter younger sibling.

No points awarded because sometimes being first is cool, too.

So let’s see, when you add it all up, that’s two points for keeping money and one point for buying the damn watch. Numbers don’t lie. Keep your money in your pocket—or don’t. They’ll all be surgically attached to our wrists soon enough, anyway.

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